


bittersweet

by huphilpuffs



Series: pff bingo 2018 [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Depression, Introspection, M/M, Starbucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 16:26:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16411916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huphilpuffs/pseuds/huphilpuffs
Summary: Dan has a bad day.





	bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Phandom Fic Fests bingo fest, for the prompt: coffee.

Dan doesn’t get out of bed.

Phil knows what it means. They’ve been together long enough that he recognizes the way Dan’s eyes go just a little hazy. He wraps himself in a duvet and presses his head into the pillow, staring at the wall without blinking for long moments. 

It’s not a lazy day. On lazy days, Dan scrolls through social media, eats, plays video games.

He doesn’t do that, today. Phil peaks into their room to watch Dan stare at the ceiling, and then at the wall, and then at his reflection in their standing mirror. His hair is matted against his head. He’s not even sure if Dan’s crawled out of bed to use the toilet yet.

Phil steps into the room, slowly. He props his knee up on the bed and reaches over to rest a gentle hand on Dan’s arm. 

Dan jumps. Phil’s heart goes tight.

“Babe?”

Dan hums, pressing his head harder against his pillow. 

“I was gonna go get some Starbucks,” says Phil. “Do you wanna come with me?”

\---

His clothes look even darker. 

Maybe it’s because of the bags under his eyes, or because he didn’t both to choose a jumper he likes, to coordinate an outfit that makes his satisfied gaze flick over himself. The hoodie is too big, even over Dan’s frame. His shoulders seem to be aching under its weight.

“Are you gonna do your hair?” asks Phil.

He’s pulled on his own shirt, purposefully bright and happy. His jeans match Dan’s. He thinks that the heaviness in his chest is but a weak replica of Dan’s own ache.

“No,” says Dan.

Phil knows what that means, too. 

Today, Dan doesn’t care.

\---

They do go to Starbucks.

Normally, they might walk, but Phil calls a cab today and lets Dan pile into the backseat before him. It’s not a long ride. It might be a waste of a few pounds. Dan’s head falls back against the seat and his eyes slip closed, just for a few moments, and Phil thinks it’s worth it. 

He needs this, to be pushed just a bit.

Phil would hate to make anything too difficult.

They crawl out of the cab together. Phil wishes he could take Dan’s hand or drape a hand across his back, hold some of the heaviness that’s dragging him down. 

Instead, he says: “Caramel macchiato?”

Dan just hums.

\---

They sit on a sofa together. 

It’s a lot like their earliest days together, Phil thinks. And it’s so very, very different. Dan’s hair is shorter, curly for all the wrong reasons. His eyes are red-brimmed and tired. He’s drawn his hands into his sleeves, curled himself into his clothing, and his whole body seems to be sinking into the cushions.

He smiles at Phil, but it’s forced.

Phil smiles back. 

It’s a little forced, too.

\---

Their coffees are sweet. 

The rest of the day isn’t, not really.

Phil gets them a cab home, too, because Dan doesn’t look like he has the energy to walk back home. He takes Dan’s hand in the backseat, where the stranger who’s driving can’t see them, because part of Phil still needs to feel the warmth of his touch on days like today.

It’s been many years, and Phil knows what Dan’s bad days are like.

He knows they’re bad for him, too.

When they get home, Dan sits down on the sofa. He curls his legs up in front of them and stares at the television, eyes just a little out of focus, even when Phil puts on one of their favourite shows. 

But he’s out of bed, and dressed, and has something on his stomach.

Tomorrow, he might thank Phil.

But today, Dan just sits there and tries to make sense of whatever’s going on in his head. 

Phil does his best to help. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr [@huphilpuffs.](huphilpuffs.tumblr.com)


End file.
